Vice President Joe Biden
Rep Aaron Schock (R-Illinois)
February 14, 2010
Gregory: Hey Joe - how are the Olympic
Biden: except for that one guy dying they’re awesome!!
Gregory: you want to give Khalid Sheik Mohammed a fair trial but where?
Biden: somewhere safe and appropriate like New York City, Governor’s Island, White Plains
Gregory: haven’t you already decided not to release Khalid Sheik Mohammed??
Biden: Calm down Fluffy
Gregory: [ grinning ] but by being sure of a conviction aren’t you prejudging the case?
Biden: god you are an idiot
Gregory: [ grinning ] but where is the justice??
Biden: jesus you’re stupid
Gregory: let me repeat a bunch of nonsense
from Dick Cheney
Biden: Fuck Dick Cheney
Gregory: but he says you are weak on terror
Biden: Dick Cheney is entitled to shoot a man in the face but he is not entitled to make bullshit up and have it spewed on ‘Meet The Press’
Gregory: yes he is
Biden: well he’s fucking crazy
Gregory: why do you think he’s lying?
Biden: maybe he’s an idiot too
Gregory: but you would never be outspoken
Biden: you fucking troglodyte - it’s not about being outspoken it’s about fucking lying
Gregory: unemployment has risen by 2 points
since you took office
Biden: hey stupid - we prevented a Depression and are slowly turning this economy around
Gregory: but in my opinion you have failed by not ending all unemployment
Biden: we’re actually accomplishing something you fatuous grinning fool
Gregory: but you have to concede that you are a bad Vice President
Biden: Hey Bubblehead why don’t you shut the fuck up and learn some facts?
Gregory: wasn’t pursuing health care reform a huge mistake?
Biden: sure it was - it’s necessary for the future of America but the people hate shit like that - they only like promise of candy and Disney rides
Gregory: Iran has a nuclear bomb when are we going to war??!?
Biden: Jesus Calm the Fuck down Fluffers - we have Iran isolated and boasting about sending worms in space
Gregory: Worms in Space - OH NO?!!?!!?!!
Biden: [ rolls eyes ]
Gregory: How is Iraq a victory for Obama?
Biden: by getting the hell out of that mess
Gregory: Was invading Iraq worth it?
Biden: Hell no dumbass
Gregory: What’s going on in Afghanistan?
Biden: we’re adding more seasoned, tough
and tender elements
Gregory: Pashtun warriors?
Biden: no I’m talking about Afghan barbecue
[ break ]
Gregory: [ grinning ] Obama is soft is terrorism!
Brooks: that’s totally bogus
Gregory: oh poo
Brooks: but you either follow the Constitution or
you get good intelligence
Maddow: what a fucking liar you are David Brooks
Ford: Obama is tough - he bombed a wedding reception Afghanistan!
Brooks: that was justified - it was an all-ABBA theme
Rep. Schock: why would we put criminals on trial when you could put them in a gulag!?!
Gregory: [ high pitched voice ]
if you’re not going to let go why even put them
Maddow: good luck with that lynch mob Greggers
Gregory: but but but -
Maddow: a terrorist is not a warrior - that gives them too much stature
Brooks: by predicting a conviction Joe Biden is betraying our values
Gregory: by saying KSM would face the death penalty there can be no justice!
Schock: I represent white mainstream values and the
beige heartland of America!
Ford: we should put KSM in a torture chamber so we can save money and pay down the debt
Maddow: [ jaw drops ]
Schock: that makes sense
Maddow: What is wrong with reading someone their Miranda rights?
Schock: People with Miranda rights don’t talk
Maddow: that’s not true
Ford: Rachel is right
Gregory: harry reid has boldly submitted a $15 billion jobs bill
Brooks: partisanship, pork and pointlessness all
Schock: the stimulus bill didn’t create long-term growth
Maddow: it was only enacted this year buddy
Schock: we need to create certainty by cutting more and more taxes
Maddow: the GOP trashed the stimulus bill and then Congressmen take credit for all the spending
in their districts
Schock: we had to take the money the Democrats forced us!
Ford: the GOP are the debtors
Maddow: the real issue is hypocrisy
Brooks: Obama is a hypocrite for inviting GOP members to a health care bill even if he won’t
put all GOP ideas in the bill
Gregory: does the GOP have any ideas at all?
Rep: sure our idea is to start from scratch and
then do nothing at all
Maddow: oh for god’s sake the entire summer was wasted putting Republican ideas in the bill!
Brooks: national transformation is hard - we can’t have health care reform because of the Vietnam war
Gregory: Harold will you run against Kristen Gillibrand
Ford: I’ve been humbled by what people have been saying about you
Maddow: dude you should be
Gregory: are you a real New Yorker?
Ford: indeed someday I may even pay taxes here
Gregory: how nice
Ford: people want to cut the debt and we need to remember that as Republicans
Gregory: I thought you were a Democrat
Ford: the point is I will run as a champion of Wall Street bonuses
Gregory: are you pro-choice?
Ford: If you can’t see ‘Twilight’ without parental notification why can you have an abortion
Gregory: well I wouldn’t do either one
Gregory: Rachel - Democrats can’t govern!
Maddow: no stupid - Republicans won’t let government work
Schock: Americans want lower taxes and deregulation
Gregory: didn’t we try that for 8 years?
Schock: we did? I was 6 years old when Bush
Brooks: we need a third party to raise taxes and cut medicare
Gregory: a modern-day Ross Perot
Brooks: he’s insane
Gregory: I liked Perot
Maddow: he meant you Fluffy