Thursday, November 13, 2008

MEET THE PRESS - November 9, 2008

MEET THE PRESS
November 9, 2008
Guests:
Valerie Jarrett
Rep. Clyburn
Sen. Martinez
********************

Brokaw: what can we expect from our new Chicago overlord?

Valerie Jarrett: radical change from people like jennifer granholm, paul volcker, and warren buffet

Brokaw: will you people a dark shadow government

Jarrett: no

Brokaw: really?

Jarrett: no really we will be

Brokaw: what did you learn studying the Polk adminstration

Jarrett: don't fuck up

Brokaw: ok let's talk about my money

Brokaw: who else besides Volcker, Summers, Rubin and Buffet

Jarrett: Obamans don't talk out of school

Brokaw: any Republicans

Jarrett: yes we will have Democrats and Losers represented

Brokaw: will you keep some Bush appointees on?

Jarrett: well he's looking for talent - so no

Brokaw: this is going to shock - you John Boner criticizes Obama

Jarrett: oh noes! He'd better resign now!

Brokaw: what about Bill Clinton

Jarrett: i can tell you we are so very eager to talk about the Clintons

Brokaw: are you being sarcastic

Jarrett: who me?

Brokaw: Democrats are always the party of Big Government

Jarrett: You are such an interesting person and apparently a fucking liar

Brokaw: what are Obama's flaws?

Jarrett: He's too inspirational

Brokaw: will Michelle be Laura or be Hillary?

Jarrett: this is the stupidest conversation i've ever had in my life

Brokaw: will she be in the bowels of the White House

Jarrett: you are a true idiot, aren't you?

Brokaw: Puppy?

Jarrett: oh noe don't go there

Brokaw: how did you feel when Obama won

Jarrett: awesome that people saw how awesome he is

Brokaw: what about the failed Obama administration

[ break ]

Clyburn: we have to restore teh economy, rebuild america, fund stem cells, and heal the country

Martinez: lets not worry about who slimed who - the point is unemployment is very high under the Obama administration!!

Brokaw: stimulus program

Martinez: i would like to see checks mailed to foreclosed homeowners in Miami

Brokaw: what else

Martinez: Obama should do whatever Republicans want

Brokaw: given the big win for Democrats should we lower taxes on the rich and cut government spending

Clyburn: are you fucking drunk?

Brokaw: stimulus program

Martinez: i would like to see checks mailed to foreclosed homeowners in Miami

Brokaw: what else

Martinez: Obama should do whatever Republicans want

Brokaw: given the big win for Democrats should we lower taxes on the rich and cut government spending

Clyburn: are you fucking drunk?

Brokaw: should we give the failed auto industry a trillion dollars?

Clyburn: yes every american should get a hummer

Brokaw: you are from the party of free markets?

Martinez: no the the GOP is the party of Free Capitalism - failed businesses get free money from the government when they fail

Brokaw: what about teh deficits?

Clyburn: the coffers are empty and we must govern from the center - i hate the far left they're so lefty

Brokaw: Ted Kennedy wants to divide America - will Republicans support that

Martinez: we as Republicans have to figure out what teh hell we believe

Brokaw: solution to health care is to go to the ER?

Martinez: see it turns out people don't think that's a good idea

Brokaw: given the poor economy isn't it true that we can't do health care in the first four years

Martinez: see children's health care is very divisive we should not attempt that it's so mean and divisive

Brokaw: Earth to Martinez - maybe the reason you went 0 for 3 is because you consider funding health care for kids divisive

Martinez: John McCain was a POW he didn't deserve to lose or the GOP be branded a racist

Brokaw: what is a Republican?

Martinez: we are going to try and figure it out - starting with Mitch Daniels

Brokaw: oh god

Brokaw: Clyburn you're black - did you know Obama is too?

Clyburn: hey some of my best friends are black and descended from slaves

Brokaw: that's very moving

Clyburn: we who worked with the system have been vindicated

Brokaw: Rahm is terrible

Martinez: Boner is moron

Brokaw: hey the Obamas are black! what about all the dysfunctional ones!

Mitchell: we need to get the guys off the corners and the kids in schools

Brokaw: wow can he finally get black families to work?

Mitchell: this dude is a better role model that a rapper or ballplayer

Brokaw: then they can hope to have the world's worst job

Goodwin: hey an economic disaster creates real opportunity for change

Brokaw: hmmmm

Goodwin: like LBJ who I slept with

Brokaw: TMI doris

Meachem: i haz advise for new preznit

Brokaw: do tell

Meachem: Obama is andrew jackson

Brokaw: maybe Obama can be on the $15 bill

Brokaw: he's very eloquent

Meachem: he's a rock star but not one of those elitist ones

Goodwin: Obama echoed FDR in the war when he said we will get there

Brokaw: that's wasn't MLK?

Goodwin: who?

Brokaw: is he black enough

Mitchell: he's President enough!

Brokaw: but not from the inner city

Mitchell: but he's got a white mother and worked in the city - it's fascinating

Brokaw: krauthammer says he's Putin

Meachem: he's actually very tough - who knew??

Brokaw: not a weak intellectual black man?

Meachem: i didn't believe it - but McCain ran a noble campaign

Goodwin: Obama should appoint McCain cabinet

Brokaw: will inner city blacks run the country?

Goodwin: this is a fucking fun time to live in America!