Meet The Press
June 22, 2008
Host: Brian Williams
Sen. Joe Biden
Sen. Lindsay Graham
Sitting in for Tim Russert, Brian Williams, but Don't Worry, He'll be Right Back, and in any case, We're Hoping You Won't Notice, or Will Stay Tuned for Another Paen to Timmy
Brian Williams: Ok, let's see if we can get through this
Biden: let my just pay homage to St. Timmy
Graham: dammit now i look like a dick
Russert: Obama you said money is bad and gave your word that you would take taxpayer dollars oh noes!
Williams: but how can we achieve the GOP dream of taxpayer-funded elections!!!??
Lindsey: Obama has broken his word not to take taxes for his campaign and I would like to announce the American people are obsessed with this and this is a game changer
Biden: yeah all 100 million people who donated to him sure noticed
Lindsay: he is a weak black man who is being played like a fiddle on Iraq by the crazies at Moveon
Williams: he cheated by being popular on the Internet
Lindsay: omg he is a calculating politician who cheats by taking positions people like -- the American people won't stand for it
Williams: McCain doesn't take popular positions?
Graham: no he does for example McCain opposed the GOP
Williams: but that is popular
Lindsay: see what i mean???
Lindsay: Obama lied - he must accept tax money!!
Biden: yeah you run with that
Williams: but Hillary attacked him
Biden: Obama beat me and he beat her and he's going to spank your ass to Lindsay
Williams: David Brooks say Obama is evil he attracts Scarlett Johanssen and yet he's an untypical democrat he's actually trying to win
Lindsay: yes he's breaking an unwritten code in DC that democrats should lose gracefully
Biden: yeah, he's a naive, green, wet-behind-the-ears, vicious politician
Lindsay: it is so, so, so sad that he's has betrayed America and i thought he was America's Magic Negro!!!
Biden: did you just attack him for trying to win? heh heh
Lindsay: omg a President might re-negotiate a treaty how dare he seize Executive Power!!!
Biden: omg you are truly psychotic
Williams: but Fortune magazine says he wants a dialogue!!
Obama: [ enforce environmental standards ]
Williams: holy shit he might renegotiate!
Lindsay: so, so, so sad he could have been wonderful and now he's made me sad by being consistent
Biden: I'm just curious -- is the whole hour going to be Obama-bashing?
Williams: we're being balanced - we have you and Lindy on to discuss Obama's betrayals
Biden: got it
Williams: rush Limbaugh told me I was being fair
Biden: I’m sure he did
Lindy: we can solve the oil crisis if the liberals will let us drill in America
Biden: they can drill now!
Lindy: but the hidden oil will save America!
Brian: but you said South Carolina would oppose environmental spoliage
Lindy: no it's deep sea exploration way, way, way far away from america
Biden: which they can do now
Brian: now let put on my Intelligent Guy Glasses
Williams: Lindy you said drilling wouldn't help
Lindsay: yeah but $4 dollars a gallon changed reality
Biden: that's stupid
Williams: i met a guy in Afghanistan and he said wow you really, really love to hear yourself talk
Biden: ha ha i know a marine told me the same thing Brian
Lindsay: none of the soldiers in Iraq would shower with me
Biden: if things are going well in Iraq then why don't we leave?
Lindster: sure go ahead and cite the Generals
Lindsay: Saint Petraeus says the central front in the Republican election effort is Iraq
Williams: that's not good news for you
Lindsay: if we leave a war could break out
Biden: uh huh
Lindsay: we have to beat the brains out of al Qaeda
Williams: what about Afghanistan
Lindsay: that's all NATO's fault
Williams: Vice President?
Brian: but what if he asked you
Biden: i would say yes
Brian: that's flip flopping
Biden: no just flopping
Brian: thanks to you both and good luck in retirement Lindsay