Sunday, September 14, 2014

Meet The Press – September 14, 2014

Host: Chuck Todd
Dennis McDonough – White House 
Chief of Staff
James Baker – Fmr. Secretary of State
Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT)
Richard Engel
Bill Neely
Andrea Mitchell
Helene Cooper
Jim Vandehei
Nia-Malika Henderson
Mike Murphy
Bryant Gumbel

Todd: omg ISIS killed a British aid worker

Todd: Obama is bombing the hell
out of ISIS but won't send ground troops

Todd: OMG Obama hates terrorists –
he's just like George W. Bush!!

Obama: terrorists will find no safe haven

Bush: we will find 'em in their caves!

Todd: Richard why did ISIS
behead a British citizen?

Engel: ISIS is sending a message
to Turkey because they are
holding Turkish diplomats hostage

Todd: Obama expects the Iraqi
military to defeat ISIS – can they do that?

Engel: the U.S. spent billions
and years training the Iraqi army

Todd: oh that's good

Engel: no after all that effort they
are totally ineffective and hate America

Todd: is Assad happy with America?

Neely: he wants Obama to
bomb his rebel enemies

Todd: no doubt

Neely: Obama is a tough
position that's for sure

Todd: welcome Dennis

McDonough: good morning Chuck

Todd: let's debate semantics
are we at war or not?

McDonough: the President described
his strategy in detail – we're bombing ISIS

Todd: but Obama never uses the word 'war'

McDonough: that's not true – Obama
often refers to the war on terror

Todd: damn I keep getting this wrong

Todd: the public is supportive
of this new war but skeptical
why is that?

McDonough: maybe because the
last time we invaded the middle east
it was a colossal fuck up

Todd: what is success in this war?

McDonough: it's ISIS reduced to a
bureaucracy squabbling among themselves

Todd: Obama held up Yemen
as a good example yet I wouldn't
want to live there

McD: it's an example of the U.S.
bombing the shit out of terrorists

Todd: is there any country
pledging ground troops in this war on ISIS?

McDonough: not yet – fingers crossed!

Todd: but you can't defeat ISIS
without soldiers on the ground

McDonough: that's why we need
to arm and train Syria moderates

Todd: that's the group we're
pinning all our hopes on?

McDonough: some of them 
are very nice people

Todd: can you pledge there will
never ever be US troops in Syria?

McDonough: we need ground
troops which is why we're backing
those wonderful Syrian rebels

Todd: Obama said he wouldn't
mind if Congress voted on this

McDonough: no he said he would welcome it

Todd: does Obama think he
needs Congressional approval
to start a war with Syria

McDonough: we've got the
power to bomb Syria now

Todd: what does Obama think of Ray Rice?

McDonough: he's shocked by
any video of a man knocking
a woman unconscious

Todd: did the NFL do the right thing?

McDonough: belatedly yes they did

[ break ]

Todd: Helene what's you
analysis of our new war with ISIS?

Cooper: suddenly we're hitching
our wagon to these so-called
moderate Syria rebels

Murphy: Obama was naïve in 2008
because he said we can't be a superpower

Todd: ha ha that's not true but funny

Murphy: now Obama is finally doing
the right thing – bombing the middle east!

Vandehei: even if we kill all of ISIS
we're left with a powerful Assad

Todd: right

Vandehei: my brother was in Baghdad
and he was a boot on the ground

Todd: it's a huge fucking mess

Henderson: we destroyed al-Qaeda
and now we have to fight ISIS which is worse!

Todd: no wonder the public is skeptical

Todd: welcome James Baker who
basically ran the US government for years

Baker: hi Chuck

Todd: please bash Obama for me

Baker: when I heroically created
a coalition in 1991 it was very heroic

Todd: so heroic

Baker: we need troops on
the ground to take on ISIS

Todd: so true

Baker: and who's going to hold captured territory?

Todd: where are the Saudis?

Baker: they're not fighting ISIS
because we don't have forces
on the ground there ourselves

Todd: so you think we need
to put massive us troops there?

Baker: oh no no

Todd: oh no?

Baker: no we should only use
special forces like SEALS and Delta force

Todd: would you bring in Iran?

Baker: no because this should
be War of Sunni All-Stars

Todd: what's the ultimate resolution?

Baker: we need to have a conference
where we bring in every country
in the world where we solve all
the problems in the middle east

Todd: fantastic

Baker: I am wise

Todd: you didn't take out Saddam in 1991

Baker: yeah assholes kept bugging me
'why didn't you take out Saddam?'
well we were right and Bush's stupid son
wrecked it like a fucking idiot

Todd: so you disagree with 
Dick Cheney when he says he 
would invade Iraq all over again

Baker: the problems in Iraq now are not
because George W. Bush invaded Iraq

Todd: they're not?

Baker: it's because Obama failed
to arm moderate Syrians and leave
a residual force in Iraq

Todd: got it

Baker: in 1990 we formed a real
coalition and America was respected
around the world

Todd: and you got the war paid for!

Baker: thank you for bringing that up Chucky

Todd: well you are a moderate
Republican which in the Beltway
means you walk on water

Baker: so true Chuckles so true

[ break ]

Todd: OMG can Hillary win this time?

Mitchell: young people want s
omeone more liberal

Young voter: climate change!

Young voter: she's a Wall Street crony!

Young voter: she will work across the aisle!

Mitchell: liberals want Elizabeth Warren
or Bernie Sanders 

[ break ] 

Todd: speaking of that -- 
welcome to my Weekend With Bernie

Todd: Bernie Sanders is a socialist 
from Vermont -- welcome Bernie

Sanders: I am thinking of running
for President as an Independent

Todd: wow

Sanders: but I would have to
form organizations in all 50 states

Todd: what about Hillary Clinton?

Sanders: people are angry at the media and
financial and corporate establishments

Todd: so you hate Hillary

Sanders: no I like Hillary – I'm running
against corporate interests

Todd: ok so bash Obama for me

Sanders: Obama should have gotten
Congress to raise the minimum wage
by calling them assholes and fuckers in public

Todd: if that didn't work what would?

Sanders: they only way to change
America is attacking politicians

Todd: if a billionaire agrees 
with you is that ok?

Sanders: Citizens United was a terrible
decision and if a liberal billionaire buys
political influence it's still terrible

Todd: so rich liberals are bad!

Sanders: but let's be clear – it's not liberals
it's rich conservatives buying the government

Todd: if you say so

Sanders: the Koch Brothers are
a danger to American democracy!

Todd: is the Democratic party
on your side or Hillary's side?

Sanders: that's the wrong question –
even Republicans agree with me 
that the government is bought and 
paid for by billionaires

[ break ]

Todd: let's bash Hillary

Vandehei: She's craven and old-fashioned
and behind the times

Todd: whoa

Henderson: ok but who is willing
to run against her? Martin O'Malley?

Todd: Bernie Sanders wouldn't attack Hillary for me

Murphy: Clinton just isn't a very good candidate

Todd: election 2014 and Obama
has bad approval ratings! Bill Clinton
had higher ratings when Democrats 
lost big in 1994!

Todd: Voters think Republicans would
do better on national defense! 
Who knows why?

Todd: on the other hand women hate
the GOP and there are a lot of lady-part voters

Todd: also the voters are not actual
voters since no one actually votes these days

[ break ]

Todd: OMG domestic violence 
is a terrible national problem 
which can only be solved by 
demanding Roger Goodell resign

Todd: 1 in 4 women will experience violence
and that doesn't cover stalking which hardly counts

Todd: Bryant should Roger Goodell lose his job?

Gumbel: his job description is to make
money for the NFL not make domestic
violence policy for America so I 
doubt he'll be fired

Todd: if the NFL does that breast
cancer thing again this year it will look bad

Gumbel: oh they will pinkwash again –
the NFL is very good at masquerading

Todd: are we NFL fans to blame?

Gumbel: yes – just like people hate
Congress but love their Representative
people hate Roger Goodell but love their team

Todd: the owners still make money

Gumbel: right – if viewers are upset about
how the NFL handles domestic violence
they should call the sponsors like Nike 
who kept backing Ray Rice after 
he punched his fiancee

Todd: the NFL had better go purple
against domestic violence instead of pink

Henderson: sure but that will just
be more hypocritical image control

Todd: good point

Henderson: does football go the
way of boxing – an obscure sport
dominated by Ukranian politicians

Todd: Hillary would love the 
Senate to go Republican

Murphy: Republicans actually dread 
it since they'd have to take
responsibility for doing nothing

Henderson: Presidential candidate
Ted Cruz would have to own GOP
Senate dysfunction

Todd: but easier for Hillary to run
against a terrible Senate

Cooper: exactly!

Todd: and that's another
episode of Meet The Press

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – September 14, 2014

Host: Martha Raddatz
Alex Marquardt
Jeff Zeleny
Steve Ganyard
Lt. Col. John Nagl (Ret.)
Dan Benjamin
John Cohen

Raddatz: omg another vicious
beheading by ISIS this time
of a British citizen

Marquardt: Prime Minister Cameron
called them fucking evil and wankers
and the dogs bollocks

Marquardt: Obama has bombed
ISIS 160 times prompting the
question why won't Obama act

Kerry: we want Saudi Arabia on board

Marquardt: Turkey and Egypt
support fighting ISIS but only
if no one notices

Marquardt: Obama admits it will
take years to crush ISIS if ever

Raddatz: does this beheading make
it more likely the British will get on
board fighting ISIS?

MacDonald: well the British government 
called ISIS the embodiment of evil

Raddatz: there are even British terrorists

MacDonald: the top terrorist beheading
innocent people is a British rapper

Raddatz: whoa

MacDonald: British muslim leaders
condemned ISIS as heretics

Raddatz: why behead Westerners
it seems intentionally provocative

Ross: because they can't attack
America or Britain conventionally

Raddatz: General how can the US defeat ISIS?

Cartwright: ISIS is taking control 
of the Tigris and Euphrates

Raddatz: omg they own cradle of civilization

Cartwright: and the crib of 
can't we just get along

Raddatz: what's the first step toward victory

Cartwright: we will give Iraqi troops
air cover for their retreat from ISIS

Raddatz: where else can we bomb?

Cartwright: it depends on if we get permission

Raddatz: what about Syria – can
they shoot down our planes?

Cartwright: maybe

Raddatz: can we destroy ISIS?!?

Cartwright: only forces on
the ground can do that

Zeleny: should Congress take
a vote on starting a war on Syria?

Kaine: Congress declares war!

Obama: I don't need your damn approval
but give me weapons for moderate fighters

Manchin: I don't trust these crazy rebels

Boehner: this is too serious to
trust the weirdos in Congress

Begich: we shouldn't get involved
in another quagmire in the middle east

[ break ]

Raddatz: welcome Dennis

McDonough: nice to see you Martha

Raddatz: will the British
finally help us destroy ISIS?

McDonough: damn right

Raddatz: will anyone else
join our coalition?

McDonough: we will keep sending
John Kerry to Turkey until they
agree to fight ISIS

Raddatz: are we at war with ISIS?

McDonough: we are at war with
ISIL just like we are at war with al-Qaeda

Raddatz: what does that mean?

McDonough: bombs!

Raddatz: how do you kill 30,000
ISIS troops without US ground troops?

McDonough: we get the Iraqi
army do it for us

Raddatz: we trained them for eight
years and they ran like cowards
the last time they fought ISIS

McDonough: yes but now we
have a new multi-ethnic Iraqi army

Raddatz: how many troops
will you send to Iraq?

McDonough: enough

Raddatz: thanks for coming

[ break ]

Raddatz: what about the Iraqi army?

Nagl: I trained them and trust me
they are not ready to fight ISIS

Raddatz: is this a war or anti-terror effort?

Ganyard: ISIS are assholes
but they are not terrorists

Raddatz: they're not?

Ganyard: no they are an army with tanks

Raddatz: does it matter whether
we call it terror or an army?

Ganyard: yes because words matter

Raddatz: what about mission
creep which is inevitable

Nagl: Obama is right – we are at war
except it will take more than he said

Raddatz: how many days until we
defeat all the crazies in the middle east?

Ganyard: never – is never good for you?

[ break ]

Raddatz: omg the Secretary of Defense
said ISIS is an imminent threat to your neighborhood!

White House: whoa hold on a second

Raddatz: 90% of Americans
are terrified of ISIS

Raddatz: How serious a threat is
ISIS to the average American?

Cohen: deadly serious because
there are many Westerners in ISIS

Benjamin: it's totally exaggerated threat

Raddatz: oh?

Benjamin: sure – we've never
had foreign fighters here even
after wars on terror and Afghanistan and Iraq

Raddatz: how do you fight an invisible
and deadly enemy like terrorists?

Cohen: ISIS is recruiting Americans!

Raddatz: why do Americans join ISIS?
Do they have a really good
health care plan or something?

Benjamin: it's not about us –
it's about chaos in the middle east

Raddatz: thanks for coming guys

Sunday, September 07, 2014

Meet The Press – September 7, 2014

Host: Chuck Todd
President Barack Obama
Andrea Mitchell
Michael Leiter
Nia-Malika Henderson
Joe Scarborough
Amy Walter
John Stanton
Kevin Tibbles
Mayor Bill Peduto – (D) Pittsburgh
Mayor Mick Cornett – (R) Oklahoma City
Mayor Marilyn Strickland – Tacoma

Todd: wow I'm the 12th host of
Meet The Press succeeding legends
like Martha Roundtree and
Lawrence Spivak and Tim Russert!

Audience: don't forget Fluffy

Todd: we're making some radical
changes here on the show!
But first I talk with Andrea Mitchell
and Joe Scarborough

Todd: my first show and I interviewed
a guy who just happens to President 
of the United States of America

Todd: it's been a crazy summer
for the President – a journalist was
beheaded and he played golf and the
world is spinning out of the control
of the United States which is just wrong

Todd: thanks for coming Mr President

Obama: nice to see you chuck
but what happened to fluffy

Todd: there's no fluffy now – it's just me

Obama: okay chucky

Todd: first question – is the media
finally going to get another war?

Obama: well the good news is 
the U.S. does war really well

Todd: that's true

Obama: we're bombing ISIS and
now all we have to do is create
a functioning Iraqi government

Todd: oh good

Obama: this is not an invasion
of Iraq it's just part of 
the big war on terror

Todd: what will you tell people this week?

Obama: that ISIS is terrifying
and hate us but not to worry we
will kill many of them which
should solve that problem

Todd: people are scared

Obama: they should be Todd

Todd: yikes

Obama: I will be asking 
Congress for resources

Todd: will you ask for their
permission to start a war?

Obama: I don't need their damn permission

Todd: so you say

Obama: but I will ask for buy-in so
that can't say later they didn't support
it if the mission turns into a disaster

Todd: well really what are 
the chances of that

Obama: I'm confident we can
systematically defeat ISIS

Todd: you called ISIS a 'JV team'

Obama: hey Michael Jordan was
on his JV team and then he got better

Todd: so far in our conversation 
you have not said the word 'Syria' 

Obama: I said 'Syria' four times already

Todd: why rule out boots on 
the ground when land invasions 
are so much fun

Obama: you know we can't invade
every single country with terrorists

Todd: okay but please
can't we just invade Syria

Obama: the U.S. cannot serially invade
every nation in the middle east

Todd: yeah but I heard if you
invade nine nations the tenth is free

Obama: in Iraq the boots on the ground
have to be Iraqi boots and in Syria 
the boots have to be Syrian boots 

Todd: and in Funkytown the 
boots have to be Kinky boots

Obama: exactly so 

Todd: which Syrians will
fight for America?

Obama: we're working on that

Todd: I hear you 

Obama: we have to develop
quietly deadly totally trustworthy
Western-friendly moderate Sunni allies

Todd: where do we find them?

Obama: in downtown Fantasyville in
Dreamland at the corner of Unicorn
Court and Leprechaun Lane

Todd: the U.S. sells a lot of
military hardware to Saudi Arabia
so why don't they use it to kill ISIS?

Obama: Sunni states have to
crack down on extreme Sunnis

Todd: are we going to make
a deal with Assad?

Obama: no our position on
Assad is still that he's scum

Todd: got it

Obama: but we're not focused
on Assad if you catch my drift

[ break ]

Todd: panel what do you think?

Leiter: ISIS is about to attack
America so we must attack Syria!
[ pounds table ]

Mitchell: the Saudis are really
mad at Obama for not invading Syria

Todd: Joe what does Obama 
need to say this week on ISIS?

Scarborough: I think he's laying
his strategy out pretty well

Todd: c'mon – bash Obama for me

Scarborough: do I have to?

Todd: well you weren't invited
on for your charming personalit
or sparkling wit

Scarborough: what would
you like to me so say?

Todd: say Obama is poll-driven

Scarborough: you in the
media are very superficial

Henderson: Congress is very
hawkish but on the other hand
they oppose everything Obama
does so it's a real problem for them

[ break ]

Todd: you delayed not deporting
people for political reasons

Obama: no I've always said we
need to have a path to citizenship
and the Senate even passed it but it
died in the House like John Boehner's dignity

Todd: but your decision looks political

Obama: the problem is we saw
all these little brown children on tv
crossing the border and the
American people got terrified

Todd: Americans are also panicking
about Ebola killing everyone in America

Obama: they should not be scared short-term

Todd: so they should be scared long-term?

Obama: no but we are going to
get the U.S. military to bomb ebola

Todd: can you bomb ebola?

Obama: if we don't the virus mutates
and comes here and next thing you
know we're living in the zombie apocalypse
which sounds like fun until you go for
your morning coffee and the shop is
full of the undead trying to eat your brains

Todd: look at the flowers

Obama: don't go there Chucky

Todd: what the hell difference does it
make who is technically in charge
of a useless deadlocked Senate?

Obama: there are still differences
between the parties – minimum wage 
equal pay, family leave, student loans 
building roads and bridges

Todd: you're not passing any any of that now

Obama: because the House is Republican

Todd: and it will be for the next two years

Obama: but it's still good to have a
lame Democratic Senate to foster
all those exciting debates on C-SPAN

Todd: but I'm arguing it still doesn't
matter who runs the Senate

Obama: but if Democrats keep the Senate
it sends the message that endlessly
obstructing my agenda is a losing proposition

Todd: if you say so

[ break ]

Todd: Obama says if the Democrats
gain seats the message will be the
Republicans in the House should 
work with him

Scarborough: that's all very good but
Clinton was overwhelmingly re-elected
and the GOP impeached him

Stanton: the reality is this 
election doesn't matter

Todd: you can't say that –
this is a political talk show!

Stanton: ha ha ha sorry Todd

Todd: everyone is mad at Obama
for not deciding to not-deport people

Walter: amnesty would 
really boost the GOP base

Scarborough: I doubt this decision
to put off non-deportation really
helps the Democrats

Todd: but the truth is there aren't
really that many hispanic voters

Henderson: I've noticed that

Walter: but there will be in the future

Todd: that's not good for the Republicans

Walter: heh no it's not Chuck

Scarborough: oh man

[ break ]

Todd: Cities are thriving! 
Kevin Tibbles talk urban et orbit for us

Tibbles: cities are 'putting partisanship aside'
and 'rolling up their sleeves' and
'getting stuff done'

Audience: and 'using cliches'

Tibbles: Oklahoma City was wrecked
by the 1995 bombing and tornadoes

Cornett: we finally said you know we
have to invest in ourselves and so
we raised taxes and re-built this city

Tibbles: on rock and roll?

Cornett: on a sales tax

Tibbles: you even got the NBA Thunder

Cornett: we're on fire and didn't
get any help from Washington

Tibbles: there are no red potholes or
blue potholes there is only the
united states of potholes

Strickland: it's about 'resilience' 
and 'rebuilding'

Todd: and money from Bill Gates

Strickland: that helps too

Todd: what do you need from 
Washington D.C.?

Peduto: they need to let us creative
Mayors 'take charge' and 'get the job done'
and not engage in political 'bickering'

Todd: Mick you're a Republican but
you didn't cut taxes you raised taxes

Audience: cut me mick cut me

Cornett: Republican voters will support
raising taxes if it pays for something
they can see and touch like a building
or a road but not something less 
tangible like not welfare for lazy people

Strickland: politicians should not
'get bogged down in partisanship'

Todd: easy to say though

Peduto: you have to 'move forward'
and 'compromise' and 'get things done'

Todd: amazing

Todd: before we break look
at this cool touch screen with
polls show Democrats running
behind in red states but ahead in Colorado
probably because they're all smoking pot

[ break ]

Todd: everyone says you look terrible
are you exhausted?

Obama: I don't get enough sleep because
there's always someone somewhere
in the world that expects America to
jump in and solve all their problems

Todd: you were on vacation and
played golf after an American was beheaded

Obama: I'd love a vacation from the press

Todd: you'll get one in two and half years

Obama: the press knows better
but I should have anticipated how
shallow the media are and how
obsessed with trivia and theater they are

Todd: darn right

Obama: the important thing 
is getting policy right

[ break ]

Todd: panel the President was 
talking optics but he doesn't 
like it and isn't good at it

Henderson: he was pretty good 
at at optics in 2007 and 2008

Scarborough: Nixon bombed Cambodia
and ate peanut butter sandwiches so
Obama should be able to play golf if he wants

Todd: he didn't say he shouldn't play golf
he said he should have realized the media
would be petty about him playing golf

Stanton: Obama doesn't understand
that Americans care about how much
golf he plays and don't like to see him
play golf he also doesn't understand 
but also that they don't care and
get that's it all phony optics talk

Scarborough: people say he doesn't
understand optics but he was elected
President of the United States twice
which isn't too shabby

Walter: Obama is probably thinking
'I ordered ISIS bombed on the
fifteenth green so what the fuck?'

Todd: Hillary Clinton is running isn't she

Walter: yes

Henderson: she's going to
announce in the late winter of 2015

Todd: she's going to use the winter
to freeze everyone else out

Scarborough: I hate to be the thick
one on the panel but I'm not convinced
Hillary Clinton is going to run

Stanton: she's should stop
teasing people – she should
announce already!

Scarborough: her book tour
was a disaster!

Todd: and that's another
episode of Meet The Press