Monday, February 01, 2016

Meet The Press – January 31, 2016

Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX)
Senator Marco Rubio (R-FL)
Bernie Sanders (I-VT)
Tom Brokaw
Joy-Ann Reid
David Brody
Jennifer Jacobs

Todd: it's a very special edition of 
'Meet The Press'!

Todd: we're excited and heavily caffeinated!

Todd: Trump and Clinton have narrow leads!

[ break ]

Todd: welcome Ted Cruz

Cruz: good morning Charles

Todd: is Ben Carson going to 
cost you the win?

Cruz: Washington D.C. wants
to divide conservatives

Todd: they do?

Cruz: I am running scared!

Todd: if Trump wins Iowa
he's unstoppable isn't he

Cruz: no doubt

Todd: remarkable

Cruz: but the good people
of Iowa can change America

Todd: you think this is the
last chance to save the nation

Cruz: I am the only true conservative

Todd: are you tough enough to take a punch

Cruz: yes

Todd: [ punches Cruz ]

Cruz: ow!

Todd: just checking

Cruz: that really hurt

Todd: I know many many people 
who wanted to do that

Cruz: Donald Trump loved me
until I passed him in the polls

Todd: he's like that sometimes

Cruz: then it was all personal 
insults and attacks

Todd: that's the Donald for you

Cruz: I focus on policy and ideas

Todd: people don't those either

Todd: you don't attack Trump
but you do attack Rubio

Cruz: Marco Rubio is an illegal immigrant
and Trump loves Obamacare

Todd: is that right

Cruz: Rubio advocates amnesty
for all the illegals

Todd: okay then

Cruz: Trump wants to expand
Obamacare and is a socialist

Todd: strong words

Cruz: when I President will kill
Obamacare with a stick

Todd: you call ethanol a gravy
train but people love gravy

Cruz: its socialism!

Todd: but their economy
is dependent on ethanol

Cruz: that's bad!

Todd: perhaps but people
in Iowa have so little in their lives

Cruz: I'm going to tear down
the EPA ethanol wall!

Todd: that is so inspiring

Cruz: it's all lobbyists and Democrats
who like ethanol

Todd: but you would hurt the 
Iowa economy which is dependent 
on corn and campaign ads

Cruz: I will save Iowa by pledging
to end the Blend Wall

Todd: are you going to be able
to work with Nancy Pelosi?

Cruz: yes I treat everybody with respect

Todd: Mitch McConnell wouldn't say that

Cruz: I like Donald Trump – he's just corrupt

Todd: okay

Cruz: I'm like Reagan since I 
too want to cut taxes

Todd: thanks for coming Senator

[ break ]

Todd: welcome Senator Rubio

Rubio: hi Chuck

Todd: look at this Ted Cruz ad

Ad: 'Rubio is the poster boy for amnesty'!

Rubio: that was three years ago!

Todd: oh never mind then

Rubio: Obama is a dictator!

Todd: got it

Rubio: secure the border!

Todd: I think your operating
system may have glitch

Rubio: we must first stop
all illegals immigration

Todd: do you regret pushing
so hard for amnesty?

Rubio: Obama is a tyrant!

Todd: I see

Rubio: each year we're
overrun with immigrants!

Todd: do you have a reset button

Rubio: build a wall!

Todd: is this issue holding you back?

Rubio: hey I'm a solid third in
a field of eleven candidates

Todd: well that's something

Rubio: I've got more negative ads
against me than everybody else combined

Todd: you supported cap and 
trade or a carbon tax

Rubio: I hate the government!

Todd: okay

Rubio: look Obama is a very wily Muslim

Todd: um all right

Rubio: you didn't show the whole clip!

Todd: voters are not happy
with technical explanations

Rubio: voters want someone
who can work with everyone

Todd: no they don't

Rubio: we can all work together
and repeal Obamacare

Todd: people personallly like
you so why aren't you winning?

Rubio: hey I'm beating Governors and
Senators and Doctors and businessmen

Todd: how can you win the nomination?

Rubio: delegates

Todd: what about Iowa?

Rubio: I will finish a strong fourth!

Todd: good luck Marco
Rubio: thanks! I need it!

[ break ]

Todd: panel what about Ted Cruz

Brody: Cruz would win easily if 
he won all conservatives

Todd: sure but that's easy to say

Brody: Trump is winning 20% of evangelicals

Reporter: who do you support?

Voter: Cruz because our nation is Biblical

Voter: Trump because he
will make America great

Voter: Trump because I'm scared of illegals

Voter: Trump because
he's not politically correct

Voter: Trump because I'm very afraid

Todd: will Trump supporters show up?

Jacobs: they love him!

Reid: they are very loyal

Brokaw: Trump thrives on celebrity culture

Brokaw: he's a divorced New Yorker
why do evangelicals like him?

Brody: evangelism are sick of
being played with like toys

Todd: but why Trump?

Brody: they are fake phony evangelists

Brokaw: let's remember that in Iowa
losing is as important as winning

[ break ]

Todd: welcome Senator Senaders

Sanders: good to be here Ted

Todd: don't you have to win Iowa?

Sanders: I was 50 points behind
and now I can win the nomination
isn't that amazing

Todd: yes it is

Sanders: people want to see America
boldly go where no one has gone before

Todd: I like the ambition but
you pretty much must win Iowa

Sanders: that would be great but
in terms of delegates it doesn't matter

Todd: perhaps not

Sanders: we are strong all over America!

Todd: Clinton says you health plan
is like a Philadelphia sports championship
a dreamy fantasy that will never
ever come to pass

Sanders: I've spent my entire life
fighting for health care for all

Todd: how's that coming along?

Sanders: the United Kingdom does it right!

Todd: but you would raise taxes

Sanders: Chuck! Chuck!

Todd: yes?

Sanders: I would save middle class
families thousands of dollars per year
by giving out free health care

Todd: okay then

Sanders: we have to destroy
private health insurance!

Todd: but people don't like high taxes

Sanders: people love me which
is why I will win the fall of 2016

Todd: all right

Sanders: it's a rigged economy 
and a corrupt system!

Todd: do you think Obama let progressives down?

Sanders: no he did a fantastic job

Todd: you think so

Sanders: he rescued the economy!

Todd: fair enough

Sanders: the rich get richer because
they've bought our political process

Todd: it's a good deal

Sanders: we just need a political revolution!

Todd: what about her e-mails

Sanders: it's a serious issue but not
as serious as the disappearing middle
class and elections bought by billionaires

Todd: thanks for coming Bernie

Sanders: you too Tim

[ break ]

Todd: so - what is a caucus?

Todd: Republicans cast a secret ballot

Todd: Democrats give speeches and
voters wander around aimlessly

Todd: then the loser's supporters wander
around even more for a while and this goes on all night

Todd: and of course this is just how
the founding fathers envisioned our
democracy functioning

Voter: I supported Obama and now Clinton

Voter: she's too scandal ridden

Voter: Bernie talks about the big banks!

Voter: I can't decide between
Bernie Sanders and Ted Cruz

Todd: so that last guy is kind of a nut

Todd: but Bernie people are 
more enthusiastic

Jacobs: actually all our polls show
Clinton supporters are enthusiastic

Todd: but the uninformed
conventional wisdom!

Jacobs: is wrong

Todd: that doesn't look good for Bernie

Reid: yes but he represents the two
big disappointments of progressives
the past eight years

Todd: what are those

Reid: no prosecutions of Wall Street
and no single payer health care

Todd: I see

Reid: but Obama is very popular

Brokaw: but what about war?

Todd: it ended Tom

Brokaw: Bernie doesn't talk 
about defeating ISIS!

Brokaw: then there's the FBI investigation

Todd: do voters care about the e-mails?

Jacobs: no

Reid: the e-mails weren't classified at the time

Brody: it taps into the narrative

Todd: Sanders won't go for the
jugular like Obama did

Reid: Sanders' problem is that
this is not a change election like in 2008

Jacobs: also Clinton fights back strong

Brokaw: Bernie reminds me of
Howard Dean when he finished third

Todd: the Dean people were louder
in 2004 but there weren't more of them

Brody: Clinton supporters are enthusiastic
about Clinton because they want her to win

Jacobs: and enthused about 
voting for a woman

[ break ]

Todd: welcome Rand Paul

Paul: very grateful to be here Charlie

Todd: you campaign has been
a train wreck – what went wrong

Paul: young people love me

Todd: If you say so

Paul: we're doing better than the polls say

Todd: are you getting the
same voters as Sanders?

Paul: audit the Fed!

Brokaw: what about the 
war in the middle east?

Paul: John McCain wants to bomb
Assad and ISIS which is stupid

Paul: the neocons want to shoot
down Russia jets is insane

Reid: well they are beating you

Paul: there's a silent majority 
against intervention

Jacobs: your Dad did much better than you

Paul: your polls are terrible lady

Brody: Trump stole your libertarians

Paul: carpet bombing is idiotic!

Paul: Ted Cruz won't audit the fed!

Paul: Cruz wants to collect
all our phone records

Todd: what's your goal in Iowa?

Paul: I think we should do well

Todd: obviously

Paul: I will do three times better
and maybe even win Iowa

Brokaw: what happens when you drop out

Paul: after New Hampshire I will
drop out just like Christie and Fiorina

Todd: next week we forget we ever
cared about Iowa and move on to
pretending to give a shit about New Hampshire

Todd: and that's another
episode of Meet The Press

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – January 31, 2016

Donald Trump
Hillary Clinton

Stephanopoulos: omg it's a 'Special Edition' of This Week!

Stephanopoulos: voters are so angry!

Stephanopoulos: tomorrow we will
know just how furious they are!

Trump: get out of bed and caucus 
you fucking losers!

Chelsea: I need another Presidential Parent

Duck Dynasty: Donald Trump is a coward

Sanders: here's some hippie music!

Stephanopoulos: polls show Trump
has 28% and Ted Cruz is at 23%

Stephanopoulos: Clinton has 
only a 3 point lead

Stephanopoulos: they're so close!

Karl: Bernie Sanders has the younger
voters and here's what's really interesting
Clinton leads among younger voters

Stephanopoulos: Bill Clinton is
out there campaigning for Hillary

Karl: He loves it and they love him!

Stephanopoulos: Trump is leading
but he also has problems

Karl: Republicans dislike him

Stephanopoulos: that could be a problem

Karl: 45% of Republicans may 
still change their mind

Stephanopoulos: wow

Stephanopoulos: welcome Donald Trump

Trump: good to be here George

Stephanopoulos: most of your 
supporters have never caucused before – aren't you worried they may get  lost or wander around aimlessly or stay home hiding from immigrants

Trump: that's might happen
but if they do turn out I win big

Stephanopoulos: It's a well-know
fact that you're a little crazy – is that
what we want in a President?

Trump: I love the Bible – it's a best seller!

Stephanopoulos: you're friends 
with Bill and Hillary

Trump: people everyone loves me
and by the way everyone hates Ted Cruz

Stephanopoulos: but they were at
one of your weddings

Trump: I'm a world class businessman
that's where all the good deals are
being made these days

Stephanopoulos: you're not principled

Trump: I get along with everybody!

Stephanopoulos: Ted Cruz says
you're a socialist abortionist

Trump: he's a total liar

Stephanopoulos: oh really

Trump: I hate Obamacare!

Stephanopoulos: all right

Trump: he lied about his Wall Street loans

Stephanopoulos: right

Trump: this is why not
one Senator endorsed him

Stephanopoulos: no Senators
have endorsed you either

Trump: Jerry Falwell's son endorsed me

Stephanopoulos: okay

Trump: Sarah Palin and Sherif
Joe endorsed me

Stephanopoulos: impressive

Trump: I have great endorsements!

Stephanopoulos: you want the
government to pay for health care

Trump: we have to help people
if they are dying

Stephanopoulos: how will you do that

Trump: we will work with 
doctors and hospitals

Stephanopoulos: what is your plan

Trump: I have a heart!

Stephanopoulos: if you say so

Trump: we will work something out


Trump: Ted Cruz is heartless 
– I don't care if I lose
I will give the sick health care!

Stephanopoulos: but you won't say how

Trump: Obamacare is disaster!

Stephanopoulos: all right

Trump: it's outrageous!

Stephanopoulos: I got it

Trump: repeal Obamacare!

Stephanopoulos: are you worried about Rubio

Trump: I will crush that pipsqueak

Stephanopoulos: I see

Trump: my company has great cash flow!

Stephanopoulos: how nice

Trump: Cruz in the pocket of his big donors

Stephanopoulos: is that so

Trump: I don't want their money!

Stephanopoulos: he probably doesn't either

Trump: I love the American people!

Stephanopoulos: did you ever imagine
that you would be leading in every state
in January in 2016

Trump: no!

Stephanopoulos: none of us did

Trump: I'm even beating Jeb and Marco in Florida!

Stephanopoulos: incredible

Trump: I'm crushing it in Hampshire

Stephanopoulos: amazing

Trump: I'm going to win Iowa

Stephanopoulos: wow

Trump: no one knows health 
care better than me

Stephanopoulos: do you have any regrets
what with all the racism and such

Trump: no because I'm winning everywhere

Stephanopoulos: fair enough

Trump: I have by far the most loyal people

Stephanopoulos: good luck Donald

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: welcome Senator Clinton

Clinton: nice to see you again George

Stephanopoulos: are you going to
lose again like you did in 2008?

Clinton: hopefully not!

Stephanopoulos: okay

Clinton: but it's close – you gotta 
get out and caucus!

Stephanopoulos: 22 of your e-mails
have been re-classified as secret and very hush hush

Clinton: but they were not marked classified!

Stephanopoulos: I see

Clinton: I want them all released!

Stephanopoulos: what is in those e-mails?

Clinton: that's classified

Stephanopoulos: is this political?

Clinton: I question the timing George
Stephanopoulos: you agreed not to disclose
classified information regardless

Clinton: and I never did!

Stephanopoulos: perhaps

Clinton: plus they were not marked classified!

Stephanopoulos: interesting

Clinton: one of these was a published
newspaper report for pete's sake!

Stephanopoulos: okay

Clinton: Republicans used Benghazi against me

Stephanopoulos: we all know that

Clinton: I testified in public for 11 hours!

Stephanopoulos: was it a mistake
to set up a private server?

Clinton: yes because you won't 
shut up about it

Stephanopoulos: Bernie says he hates guns
and loves Planned Parenthood

Clinton: I took on the gun lobby for years

Stephanopoulos: got it

Clinton: Planned Parenthood endorsed me

Stephanopoulos: true

Clinton: and I was endorsed by the Brady Campaign!

Stephanopoulos: they're a fun bunch

Clinton: the gays endorsed me too!

Stephanopoulos: Claire McCaskill
calls Bernie a communist

Clinton: if the hammer fits

Stephanopoulos: will nominating a
socialist make it harder for Democrats to win

Clinton: well duh of course

Stephanopoulos: so you claim

Clinton: I'm tried and tested and vetted and ready!

Stephanopoulos: Robert Reich says
you're the candidate we deserve and
Bernie is the one we need

Clinton: I want a renaissance in
manufacturing and health care and equal pay

Stephanopoulos: sounds good

Clinton: I won in New York state twice
and even Republicans said I was a
good Secretary of State

Stephanopoulos: those were the days

Clinton: working people have been left behind!

Stephanopoulos: good luck

Clinton: thanks George!