Sunday, November 16, 2014

Meet The Press – November 16, 2014

Sylvia Burwell – Sec. of HHS
Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-LA)
Dr. Toby Cosgrove – President and CEO Cleveland Clinic
Anne Thompson
Avik Roy
Neera Tanden
Carly Fiorina
Helene Cooper
Reid Wilson

Todd: OMG an American aid
worker may have been killed by ISIS

Audience: shit

Todd: he converted to Islam
while in captivity

Engel: the video shows other
beheadings although not his

Todd: cripes

Engel: Peter Kassig was a former
U.S. Soldier who went to the area 
to help people

Todd: wow

Engel: the Iraqi military is infiltrated
by terrorists and Iranians and 
other assorted wackos

Engel: some Iraqi units are striking at ISIS
but others are actually Iranian death squads

Todd: thanks Richard

Engel: you too Chuck

[ break ]

Todd: ok enough about that
unpleasantness – let's talk domestic politics

Todd: Obama and the GOP are going to war
it's going to be a bumpy ride!

Audience: wheeeee

Todd: the President is doubling down!

Obama: it's so on right now

Boehner: we will fight Obama tooth and nail

Obama: you can't handle the tooth!

Todd: the Obamacare website
didn't work at first but it did get 
7 million sign ups

Todd: on the other hand Republicans
still hate the law and want to take
it apart brick by brick

Todd: and the conservative Supreme
Court could still cripple the law

[ break ]

Todd: Sylvia how's the new
enrollment coming along?

Burwell: we've got 100,000 new sign-ups
and 500,000 older sign ups

Todd: what's the big problem?

Burwell: people forget their passwords

Todd: oh I can relate to that –
my password for everything
now is 'chuckyscratchybeard'

Burwell: good Todd but you
need at least one numeral

Todd: why do people hate the law so much?

Burwell: people actually like the provisions
of the law like a ban on pre-existing conditions

Todd: so why are predicting you
will fail to get 13 million new users

Burwell: because people are sticking
with employer-based health insurance

Todd: Jon Gruber helped write
Romneycare and Obamacare and
he said the law's complexity is
based on stupidity of American voter

Burwell: you know I think he's wrong

Todd: maybe but then again
'Real Housewives' is a hit franchise

Burwell: this week one million people
used to website to do window-shopping
for health insurance

Todd: will you have holiday
decorations in your windows?

Burwell: no it's a website

Todd: another front in the war on christmas

Burwell: we are very transparent!

Todd: did you really just throw stuff 
at the wall to see what sticks?

Burwell: we threw in a lot of stuff
conservatives wanted

Todd: will you welome Mr. Gruber back?

Burwell: if I were Gruber I would
not show my face in Washington D.C.
unless he wants to wake up at the 
bottom of the Potomac

Todd: thanks for coming

[break ]

Todd: welcome Bobby

Jindal: hi Chuck

Todd: why not expand Medicaid?

Jindal: we don't want the
government running health care!

Todd: all right then

Jindal: Medicaid was created to
help sick people and not healthy people

Todd: I see

Jindal: we just can't afford to 
insure healthy people!

Todd: but why turn down free cash?

Jindal: insuring people in my state
would be a total waste of money

Todd: but other GOP governors
took the free money

Jindal: Louisiana is just too
poor to take free money

Todd: meanwhile you still have
lots of people with no insurance

Jindal: well that's not my fault

Todd: no?

Jindal: look government fails at everything

Todd: so do you want to abolish Medicaid?

Jindal: no I just want to limit it to
sick people – why would we give
health care to people who are healthy??

Todd: should the Republicans
shut down the government?

Jindal: yes but if they did it would
really be Obama shutting down the
government it by making the Republicans do it

Todd: you're torturing the english language

Jindal: Obama lost the 2014 elections
therefore he should do what 
Republicans want to do

Todd: okay

Jindal: Obama will break law the 
but we shouldn't shut down 
the government over it

Todd: ah-ha you said “we”

Jindal: dammit

Todd: you're incredibly unpopular in Louisiana
so why would pretend you're running for President

Jindal: Obama is a communist

Todd: you grew the debt so how is
your record any better than Obama's

Jindal: we have balanced budgets

Todd: you're legally required to

Jindal: we have a good credit rating!

Todd: all right

Jindal: when I was elected Louisiana
was doing terribly and now the 
economy is roaring

Todd: sounds like your state is
doing great under President Obama

Jindal: ack

[ break ]

Todd: damn Obama is newly
energized and is going on offense!

Obama: I'm fired up!

Todd: with time running out for
a legacy Obama has put his liberal fists up!

Obama: game on GOP!

Todd: Obama has come out
swinging on net neutrality and
climate change and immigration

McConnell: ah cain't buhlieve it

McConnell: he's wahvin a rehd
flahg in frohnt a bhuull

Obama: how about this – hold a vote!

Todd: Obama is free to fire up the
base and he's ready to pick a fight
even with conservative Democrats!

Landrieu: I want the pipeline!

Obama: why do we need to pollute
America just so Canada can sell oil to China?

[ break ]

Todd: panel should Obama veto the pipeline?

Matthews: white people love pipes

Todd: Obama doesn't look
sad he looks happy

Cooper: he wants to get things
done and has no more fucks to give

Todd: what should Republicans do?

Fiorina: the American want this pipeline
it creates jobs

Todd: not everyone agrees

Fiorina: Obama said it wouldn't
which is bizarre

Todd: what should Republicans do now?

Fiorina: the GOP should be sober
and calm and not act like jackasses
which only helps Obama

Todd: interesting angle

Fiorina: the GOP should point out to
hispanics that Obama hates them
with his unbelievable cynicism

Wilson: it's better for Mary Landireu
if Obama vetoes the pipeline

Todd: it helps her to totally fail
to deliver for her state?

Wilson: yes because it distances her
even more from the black guy

Todd: amazing

[ break ]

Todd: in the midterms turnout was
way down and likely changed the
outcome of the election in favor of Republicans!

Todd: for example 20% of young
people voted in 2012 and in 2014
only 14% did

Todd: also black turnout was down 2%
which cost Democrats in the elections

Todd: some say you need Barack Obama
at the top of the ticket and that's a
problem for Democrats because
he won't be running in 2016

[ break ]

Texas official: Obamacare is a trap!

Illinois citizen: the ACA is a saved our lives!

Texas businessman: we can't afford
to provide employees health insurance
which is sad because I love them

Thompson: Texas has the most 
uninsured of any state

Texas official: we should provide
health insurance to poor people
but not with Obama's name on it

Illinois citizen: you try going without 
insurance for two years!

Illinois citizen: to have the fear of
bankruptcy lifted is fantastic

Illinois official: the law saves lives!

[ break ]

Todd: panel talk Obamacare to me

Cosgrove: costs are coming down
and quality is going up and of course
more people have health insurance

Roy: costs are going up!

Todd: but the doom and gloom
critics predicted didn't happen

Roy: hospitals are merging to 
crush poor citizens

Tanden: we have actual data and
numbers premiums are coming down
due to pressure from Obamacare rules

Todd: is that right?

Cosgrove: yes but what we need
is people involved in their own care

Todd: I see

Cosgrove: the American people
are a bunch of lazy fast-food eating 
soda drinking unhealthy fuckers

Todd: how would you advise the GOP?

Roy: bring hospital costs down
which are much higher in America
than in other countries

Tanden: the next step is address
how much individuals are paying for their care

Cosgrove: we have a doctor shortage!

Todd: we're such wonks and nerds and geeks

[ break ]

Todd: Carly should the GOP
keep trying to repeal Obamacare?

Fiorina: yes because deductibles are high

Todd: I see

Fiorina: this law is longer than a
Harry Potter novel so of course
no one understands it!

Todd: I never did figure out why Harry
had to compete in the tri-wizard tournament

Fiorina: Obamacare is crony capitalism!

Todd: what's the solution?

Fiorina: do whatever the
insurance companies want to do

Wilson: passing the most significant
health care law in modern history
will plague Obama forever

Matthews: the problem is the same
as immigration – there are many people
who don't really want to solve the problem

Todd: Obama and Putin cuddled with koalas!

Matthews: Reagan was right
there really is a bear!

Todd: Carly are you running for President?

Fiorina: people keep begging me to run

Todd: sounds like you're running!

Fiorina: I have to Chuck – 
the people have spoken

Todd: and that's another
episode of Meet The Press