Sunday, March 01, 2015

Meet The Press – March 1, 2015

Kevin Tibbles
Helene Cooper (NYT)
Hugh Hewitt (conservative radio host)
Chris Cillizza (Washington Post)
Maria Hinojosa (NPR)
Tony Messenger (St. Louis Post Dispatch)
Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) – 
House Majority Leader
Garry Kasparov
Rep. Jan Schakowsky (D-IL)
Joe Lieberman
Dr. Ben Carson

Todd: omg the Republicans got
total control of Congress and
immediately drove it into a ditch

Todd: John Boehner was embarrassed
this week when the GOP voted against
funding the Department of Homeland Security

Todd: he had to bailed out by 
Democrats just to fund DHS for  
another whole seven days

Todd: Jihadi John is a cult figure of unimaginable terror

Todd: is the U.S. losing the propaganda war?

Todd: ISIS has a twitter feed in 23
languages including Esperanto

Clapper: we can't win until we 
take down the Internet!

King: the GOP are self-righteous and delusional!

[ break ]

Todd: welcome Rep. McCarthy

McCarthy: hi Todd

Todd: why would did you decide
to shut down the Department of
Homeland Security just because 
you are having a  hissy fit over immigration

McCarthy: this is Obama's fault  
because he brought chaos to America

Todd: I see

McCarthy: Senate Democrats
filibustered our ridiculous bill

Todd: go on

McCarthy: we said 'let's go to
conference as God intended'

Todd: nevertheless you wanted to
protest the President's immigration order
and the method you chose was to
defund Homeland Security

McCarthy: no no no Obama 
is a bad man

Todd: I get you think that but-

McCarthy: Obama bad!

Todd: could you elaborate?

McCarthy: Obama doesn't want
to work with the American public

Todd: he was twice elected President

McCarthy: Obamate hates the
American people by which I mean
the wackos in the tea party

Todd: so is it time for the nuclear option?

McCarthy: the American people hate Obama!

Todd: even if everything you
say is true you've acted stupidly here

McCarthy: I'll give you that

Todd: why not just sue the President?

McCarthy: don't you think 
Obama is a bad man?

Todd: are you guys going to fund DHS or not?

McCarthy: no!

Todd: so you will shut down America's
defense against terrorists
because you hate Obama?

McCarthy: I don't know

Todd: you're weakening

McCarthy: filibusters are bad!

Todd: some conservatives call
tea party members phony conservatives

McCarthy: we are united in
our hatred of Barack Obama

Todd: you control all of Congress
and can't get anything done

McCarthy: we will do the right
thing after we've tried everything else

Todd: what a relief

McCarthy: Obama is vetoing everything!

Todd: that's just false

McCarthy: that may be but
the Democrats are filibustering
which is the worst thing in the world

Todd: thanks for coming

McCarthy: Obamaaa!

[ break ]

Todd: panel the Republicans
are acting crazy

Hewitt: this is all Obama's fault
because he is a bad man

Todd: I must say I'm surprised Republicans
hate immigrants so much they will stop
funding America's defense against terrorists

Hinojosa: latino voters are say
'wow the Republicans are prepared
leave the nation vulnerable to terror
attack so they can deport more brown people'

Cillizza: if Republicans keep losing
the Hispanic vote they are doomed forever

Todd: it seems like a problem

Cillizza: Obama is a bad man but
the GOP are shooting themselves in the foot

Cooper: to the world outside their
bubble it looks like the Republicans
are threating again to shut down the
government over a temper tantrum
because they hate Obama

Todd: Hugh should the GOP reject
Loretta Lynch over immigration

Hewitt: no they should confirm
Loretta Lynch – I know her and
she's highly qualified

Todd: whoa

Hewitt: the President has triggered
a constitutional problem!

Todd: thanks panelists

[ break ]

Todd: Welcome Mr Kasparov –
how did you feel when you heard
your good friend Boris had been murdered?

Kasparov: how you think I feel?

Todd: I dunno

Kasparov: I am shattered when I
hear news – I know Boris twenty
years and he was full of life

Todd: that's bad

Kasparov: this was crime of Putin's Russia!

Todd: do you blame Putin for the murder?

Kasparov: there is endless propaganda
in Russia to calling any who criticize
Putin enemy of the state so he created
the atmosphere for killing my friend!

Todd: I see

Kasparov: I don't trust the official
investigation already!

Todd: will this cause more calls
for democracy or will people
go into hiding

Kasparov: he was murdered in
front of the Kremlin – it spreads
fear and terror

Todd: do you fear for your life?
Kasparov: I live in New York city

Todd: my apologies – obviously you do

Kasparov: no critic of Putin is safe in Russia!

Todd: please bash Obama for me

Kasparov: Putin is a brutal dictator 
and a psychopath

Todd: thanks Obama

Kasparov: the best way to remember
Boris is to arm the Ukrainians

[ break ]

Todd: why are you boycotting 
the Netanayhu speech?

Schakowsky: it's not a boycott
it's a strategic realignment of resources

Todd: I see

Schakowsky: the House floor is a
prestigious place and it's shouldn't
be used for political grandstanding

Todd: of course

Schakowsky: but I will watching
on this new device called television

Lieberman: whether you like 
or not Bibi is coming

Todd: no one likes it

Lieberman: if you want to stick
it to Bibi go to the speech

Todd: there's an argument for going Jan

Lieberman: Democrats are really
to blame for making this partisan

Todd: of course they are

Lieberman: if Democrats want to
prove they support Israel they must
go to this speech to designed to insult Obama

Todd: should Congress have
oversight over this deal with Iran?

Schakowsky: no because the House
and Senate are full of idiots

Todd: that's true

Schakowsky: if we don't get a deal
we just have more sanctions and Iran
will keep building a nuclear bomb

Todd: Jeff Goldberg says Bibi is
doing this to go after a Democratic President

Lieberman: Bibi Netanayhu is one of
the greatest human beings of modern times

Todd: go on Joe

Lieberman: Bibi is our President
and we should listen to him!

Todd: in a way that's true but also not

Lieberman: Obama is not a good man!

Todd: Jewish-Americans are
uncomfortable with pitting a foreign
leader against the U.S. President

Lieberman: Israel and America are
members of one family and no one
likes to see mommy and daddy fighting

Jan: we are trying avoid a war with Iran!

Todd: thanks for coming you two

[ break ]

Todd: wow Rand Paul won the CPAC
straw poll and Jeb Bush got only 8%

Palin: the Nazis are dead!

Jeb: Obama has ruined our 
 alliance with Canada!

Walker: protesters are terrorists!

Carson: if you're black and pro-family
they don't know what to call you

Todd: welcome Dr Ben Carson

Carson: nice to see you Charles

Todd: why wouldn't you run for President?

Carson: if there was no support for it

Todd: and you seeing a lot of support?

Carson: oh yeah loads all over America – north and west

Todd: okay so you've got the Kardashians

Todd: Republicans said Obama
was not experienced and failed but
you have no experience at all

Carson: but that's not true –
Obama has been hugely successful

Todd: all right

Carson: If I were President my
mission would be to respond to
the will of the people and the Constitution

Todd: you say would attack ISIS and
wouldn't tie the hands of the military

Carson: Shia muslims want to
destroy America and our way of life!

Todd: um okay

Carson: we have to eradicate them!

Todd: are you saying we have
to wipe out all Shia muslims?!?

Carson: not necessarily

Todd: Scott Walker says the most
important foreign policy decision in
history was firing air traffic controllers

Carson: Reagan was such a
terrifying movie star Iran let
our hostages go

Todd: how can you believe
in science and faith?

Carson: I don't believe religion
should dictate public policy

Todd: okay fine

Carson: people say to me 'how can
you be a doctor and not believe
in evolution?' but evolution isn't
science it's propaganda

Todd: thanks for coming

[ break ]

Todd: panel talk CPAC to me

Obama: do you really intend to
deport 11 million people and if
not what is your plan?

Bush: there is no plan to deport
11 million people – they need a
path to citizenship

Cillizza: Jeb Bush wasn't booed off
the stage which was a huge win for him

Hinojosa: Latino Republicans are pissed

Hewitt: Jeb Bush did well but Scott
Walker won because he comes off
not like Frank Underwood but
more of a weakling

[ break ]

Todd: a leading candidate for
Governor in Missouri committed suicide

Tibbles: Missouri Auditor Tom Schweich was
a leading candidate for Governor but there
was a whisper campaign that he was Jewish

Tibbles: then he apparently killed himself

Tibbles: the GOP chair said he
may have mentioned Schweich's
Jewishness once or twice

Tibbles: which is odd since his grandfather
was Jewish but he was Episcopalian

Todd: why on earth would 
anyone care if he was Jewish

Messenger: some Republican 
 primary voters clearly care if 
you had a Jewish grandfather

Todd: did I get into a hot tub time
machine and go to Germany in 1938?

Messenger: it's not that bad

Todd: is there a lesson
to be learned here?

Messenger: there is a lot of soul
searching both parties so get out
of the politics of personal destruction

Todd: ah so both sides do it

[ break ]

Todd: panel Scott Walker compared
teachers to terrorists

Cooper: that is crazy

Hewitt: foreign leaders were terrified
of Reagan because of he fired the air
traffic controllers so Gorbachev decided
to end the Cold War and dismantle the
Soviet Union after he left office

Todd: Hillary Clinton didn't
manage the Arab Spring

Cillizza: foreign policy is going to be
important in 2016 but none of the GOP
candidates have foreign policy experience

Todd: Senator Inhofe brought a snowball
onto the floor of the Senate to disprove climate change

Traficant: beam me up! Beam up!

Todd: rest in peace Leonard Nimoy

Cillizza: live long and prosper

Todd: and that's another
episode of Meet the Press

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – March 1, 2015

Host: Martha Raddatz
Terry Moran
Alex Marquardt
Brian Ross
Matt Bradley
John Kerry – Secretary of State
Rep. Peter King (R-NY)

Raddatz: OMG ISIS is unleashing 
a new wave of terror!

Raddatz: also another crisis in Moscow
as a Putin critic was shot in the back!

Moran: Boris Nemstov was murdered
and protesters say Putin has created
a climate of fear and terror

Raddatz: in another crisis Israel
and America are feuding!

Marquardt: Netanayhu is coming
to America to accuse Obama of
letting Iran have a nuclear bomb!

Raddatz: omg the search in on
the for world's most wanted terrorist

Raddatz: many are asking –
could the British have stopped him?

Ross: British intelligence can't
watch everyone all the time

Raddatz: what??

Ross: he grew up in London and
slipped out of the country and
murdered Americans oh and
some other people

Ross: do you condemn murder?

Brit: I condemn America for being murderers!

Raddatz: how long will it take
to completely destroy ISIS?
- I will ask John Kerry

[ break ]

Raddatz: welcome Secretary Kerry

Kerry: hello Martha

Raddatz: ISIS is on a rampage
just like Genghis Khan!


Raddatz: what?

Kerry: sorry that was my
salute to Leonard Nimoy

Raddatz: how's the war coming along

Kerry: which one?

Raddatz: the latest one

Kerry: ISIL is on the run!

Raddatz: they are?

Kerry: yes but invading and
occupying Syria will be a bit trickier

Raddatz: you don't say?

Kerry: yes but I'm meeting with
the King of Saudi Arabia this week
which should solve all our problems
with beheading muslim extremists

Raddatz: James Clapper said this is
the worst year for terror deaths ever

Kerry: we're safer than ever!

Raddatz: the American people think
they are about to be killed by terrorists

Kerry: compared to WWI or WWII
things are really good

Raddatz: ok so it's not the
Battle of Verdun or Iwo Jima

Kerry: we're focused on the that
whole internet cyberspace battle thing

Raddatz: when will the Iraqis re-take Mosul?

Kerry: that's a secret Martha

Raddatz: you can tell me

Kerry: we're still training the Iraqi troops

Raddatz: Centcom said we
would invade in the spring

Kerry: you can't trust them Martha

Raddatz: so will it be 2015?

Kerry: I just said it was a secret

Raddatz: how much do you hate Bibi?

Kerry: I love Israel

Raddatz: don't we all

Kerry: you know Obama
has waged war on Israel's
behalf two hundred times

Raddatz: it's not enough

Kerry: but not consulting the
White House on his visit
is total bullshit

Raddatz: you sound angry

Kerry: Israel is safer today
because of Barack Obama
and this is the thanks he gets

Raddatz: it was either than or
a gift certificate to Radio Shack

Kerry: we are inspecting inside Iran
that's more than Bush ever got

Raddatz: perhaps

Kerry: we are going to guarantee
Iran can't build a nuclear bomb!

Raddatz: does Bib's speech
actually help Iran?

Kerry: I won't comment on
that but probably yes

Raddatz: whoa

Kerry: Obama gave Israel
Iron Dome – fuck this guy!

Raddatz: go on

Kerry: remember no one supported
the Interim Agreement and it
turned out to be awesome

Raddatz: what are you talking about

Kerry: this is a test of whether
diplomacy can work or if America
is doomed to century of war

Raddatz: then we're doomed

Kerry: everybody believes war
should be a last resort after diplomacy fails

Raddatz: not John McCain

Kerry: that's very true

Raddatz: who killed Boris Nemstov?

Kerry: I don't know and
wouldn't tell you if I did know

Raddatz: you're no fun

Kerry: our sympathies go out to
the Russia people – he was the
last good man in that country

Raddatz: thanks for coming

[ break ]

Raddatz: welcome Peter King

King: good morning Martha

Raddatz: some say the Republicans
are acting like jackass defunding
Homeland Security

King: who said that?

Raddatz: you did

King: there is a wing in the GOP
that hase no sense of reality!

Raddatz: strong stuff

King: we've got beheadings by
ISIS and these tea party nuts
vote to de-fund our national security

Raddatz: you seem passionate

King: these Republicans are
self-righteous and delusional!

Raddatz: indeed

King: we've got American lives at risk!

Raddatz: should John Boehner
find a job where he could be
useful like founding the Orange Man Group

King: we've got to bring a clean
bill to the floor – all we're asking
for is democracy!

Raddatz: then you're asking too much

King: for god's sake this is
a Republican bill – we wrote it!

Raddatz: are Americans about
to be killed by terrorists?

King: yes definitely!

Raddatz: thanks for coming Pete

[ break ]

Raddatz: we visited the site of a
victory over ISIS on the other hand
almost every building in
Kobani was destroyed

Raddatz: now the people of
Kobani live in refugee camps

Raddatz: omg christians are 
being persecuted!

Raddatz: why is ISIS attacking Christians?

Christians: they're attacking
everyone who isn't a psychopath

Raddatz: these Christians still
speak Aramaic which is the
language Jesus spoke

Audience: everyone knows
Jesus spoke english

Raddatz: ISIS is killing Yazidis
and Coptic Christians

Raddatz: then ISIS started
smashing statues

Raddatz: Matt what's the story with ISIS

Bradley: Obama says he's got
ISIS on the run but those victories 
over ISIS don't count because they 
were done by the pershmerga who are not saints

Raddatz: so can America re-take Mosul?

Bradley: Iraqi generals are outraged at Obama

Raddatz: but aren't they pathetic cowards?

Bradley: yes which makes Obama's
promise to re-take Mosul using 
Iraqi troops so hollow

Raddatz: Syria is another story

Bradley: American pounded Kobani
with bombs but there are no 
U.S. troops which is sad

Raddatz: thanks for coming

Bradley: I live here Martha