Sunday, June 16, 2013

Meet The Press – June 16, 2013


Guests:
Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-SC)
Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-GA)
Sen. Mark Udall (D-CO)
Rep. Bobby Scott (D-VA) 
Gen. Michael Hayden (fmr. Director NSA)
David Ignatius
Andrea Mitchell
James Risen

Gregory: Obama wants to arm the rebels

Graham: that's not enough –
we need to create a no-fly zone

Gregory: you think the rebels
can't win with just guns

Graham: also i'm worried about
Lebanon – the whole region
is a powder keg

Gregory: so would you invade Syria?

Graham: Israel could end up
surrounded by enemies

Gregory: oh noe!

Graham: the whole area is about to
explode – I don't understand Obama's
foreign policy – American should
control all countries everywhere

Ignatius: Assad's generals are fleeing

Gregory: can we track guns in Syria
we can't even track them here!

Mitchell: we may get into a
proxy war with Iran

Gregory: great

Mitchell: also because Bush lied
about weapons of mass destruction
so no one believes us anymore

Gregory: Sen. McCain says we can
get involved in a middle east war
risk-free – isn't that crazy considering
you guys freaked over Benghazi?

Graham: no not at all – we must kill
Bashir Assad or the King of Jordan is toast

Mitchell: how do we know we won't
help terrorists get chemical weapons?

Graham: there are no good answers –
but we have a big military so we
might as well use it

Ignatius: what's the best argument
for attacking Syria?

Graham: all the regular Syrians
I know love America

Gregory: is Ed Snowden a traitor?

Graham: I don't know but I've
got a simple view of the world

Gregory: that's why I love you

Graham: I would like to
listen in on terrorists

Gregory: is an immigration bill
going to pass?

Graham: yes – I haven't been
this optimistic since Ashley Wilkes proposed

Gregory: could you expand on that?

Graham: we should invade Syria!

Gregory: who is going to be
elected President in 2016?

Graham: Jeb Bush

Gregory: another Bush?

Graham: this time it will work

Gregory: what makes you so sure?

Graham: Obama caused the recession
and started wars in the middle east

Gregory: is that good or bad?

Graham: good question Fluffy

[ break ]

Gregory: a moderate was
elected President of Iran

Ignatius: it's fascinating –
he's soft on beheadings

Gregory: what should we do in Syria?

Chambliss: we should remove
Assad because he is not good

Gregory: but we might send
arms to crazy people

Chambliss: we're pretty good at
ferreting out the good guys

Gregory: indeed our track
record is spotless

Chambliss: a no-fly zone may
be the ultimate tactic

Gregory: the U.S. says we will
put the guns the right hands

Udall: all we have to do is protect
the Syrian people, contain all weapons
and install a good regime

Gregory: oh is that all

Udall: oh and seize the oil

Gregory: Syria doesn't have any oil

Udall: what fuck it it then

Gregory: is Ed Snowden a traitor?

Chambliss: if he's not a traitor
he's pretty darn close

Gregory: right

Chambliss: the bad guys now
know not to use telephones
which puts American lives at risk

Gregory: what's next for Ed Snowden?

Chambliss: Dancing with the Stars

Gregory: what about NSA surveillance?

Udall: I love PRISM but I think collecting 
the metadata of millions of Americans 
might violate the Fourth Amendment

Gregory: ok

Udall: but my bill would make
it okay to collect metadata
for Americans with a link to terrorism

Gregory: after 9/11 everyone
bashed the NSA for not collecting
enough information

Chambliss: we've stopped lots of
terrorist attacks with these programs!

Gregory: name some

Chambliss: the NYC subway bombing
plot and the Mumbai bombings

Gregory: the Mumbai attacks were not prevented

Chambliss: nobody's perfect Fluffy

Gregory: don't people want
surveillance to prevent attacks?

Udall: why can't the NSA get
a warrant for metadata?

Gregory: maybe they secretly do

Udall: the King of England could
kill people in 1776

Gregory: well I'm sure both sides
were equally guilty

[ break ]

Gregory: will people turn on spying
when more revelations come out?

Hayden: no when people learn more
about how great these programs
they will love them

Gregory: what don't people
understand about how they work?

Hayden: PRISM is content but
only applies to foreigners and
metadata is for Americans but
has no content

Gregory: Obama expanded these programs

Scott: that's a lie

Gregory: I know it is but
I'm required to say it

Scott: the issue is what information
is gathered and what can be accessed
and how can it be used –
like with DNA on arrest

Risen: we created a modern
surveillance structure with no debate

Ignatius: Bush broke the law
with warrantless wiretapping

Gregory: be quiet

Ignatius: these idiot congressmen
whine that they can't bring their
staffs or take notes –
suck it up and do your jobs

Gregory: Snowden – good or bad?

Ignatius: this kid just released this
stuff will nilly - we're still a nation of laws

Mitchell: Snowden is undeniably
brilliant but his internet chats
showed he was very edgy but
still he got top secret clearance

Gregory: I heard he had hipster
glasses and listened to
Mumford and Sons

Mitchell: oh my god

Hayden: Snowden is flat-out lying –
there's no way he could access all
the information he claimed

Mitchell: how would you know –
you're totally clueless

Hayden: you can only access metadata
through a terrorist predicate

Scott: whatever the hell that means

Risen: we only debate these issues
when a so-called traitor tells us
what the government is up to

Gregory: Congress doesn't have the
guts to talk about limiting surveillance

Ignatius: at least Obama tried to
make it legal – although clearly
General Hayden doesn't want
to have this debate

Hayden: I'm scared al-qaeda
will learn that we have civil
rights and exploit that

Mitchell: sweet jesus General
it's like you crave a dictatorship

Hayden: but a safe one

Mitchell: since Benghazi and
the IRS and Monica Lewinsky
I don't trust the NSA

Risen: we have a massive
surveillance state which probably
lead to a police state

Gregory: which leakers do we like
and which don't we like?

Scott: can all this information be
used for ordinary heinous crimes
or trade deals?

Gregory: that's a good question
and I hate it – let's talk about the
rise of the Celebrity Leaker

Risen: the whistleblowing system
is totally broken – the best
method is to go the media now

Mitchell: he could have gone to
his local member of Congress

Risen: Peter King would have him killed

Ignatius: that's a fixable problem
and therefore uninteresting

Risen: I know it's fixable –
that's why I brought it up

Hayden: I hate transparency but
if you all fucking insist on it so be it

Gregory: it's Father's Day -
what did your Dad teach you?

Mitchell: my Dad is 99 years
old and he taught me to fight

Ignatius: my dad was Navy Secretary
under LBJ and taught to never get
involved in a land war in Asia
without a pretty good reason

Risen: my dad always want to
host a Sunday talk show

Hayden: what my dad taught
me is classified

Scott: don't collect information
and tell me you're not going
to use for kidnappings

Gregory: ok

Scott: my Dad fought segregation
and he taught me to challenge
injustice with great dignity

Gregory: and that's another
episode of Meet The Press

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – June 16, 2013


Host: Jon Karl:
Guests:
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL)
Rep. Luis Gutierrez (D-CA)
Jeremy Bash (fmr. CIA spokesman)
Jeffrey Goldberg
Newt Gingrich
Donna Brazile
George Will

Karl: omg we're going to send
arms to Syrian rebels!

Rubio: I've been pushing for this
for a long time but now that Obama
has decided to do it I'd like to warn
that it might turn out to be a very bad idea

Karl: what would President Rubio do?

Rubio: if I were President there
would be only good people
and no bad people

Karl: what about Iran?

Rubio: the people of Iran are very nice
but we must get tough on them
and cripple the country even more

Karl: do you support your
own immigration bill?

Rubio: no but that's just how the
legislative process works

Karl: I see

Rubio: look Republicans support
immigration as long as we can
have a 50-foot electrified fence

Karl: would support your own
bill without the big fence?

Rubio: no – it will never pass
without the big fence anyway

Karl: right-wing pundits say Chuck
Schumer is playing you for a fool

Rubio: that's mean – I'm very
conservative in most ways

Karl: true but Glenn Beck
still hates your guts

Rubio: I respect them very much –
but the GOP will keep losing
elections without more Hispanic votes

Karl: is Chuck Schumer using
you to get a liberal bill passed?

Rubio: excuse me – we have de facto
amnesty now and if we don't do
something the GOP will never win again

Karl: Isn't Obama ruining everything?

Rubio: I don't pay attention to that Kenyan usurper

Karl: what about LeBron James?

Rubio: nice plug for an ABC broadcast Jon

Karl: heh heh

[ break ]

Karl: should we go into Syria?

Will: Napoleon was right when he
said we should invade Vienna instead
of Syria since it's a much nicer place

Karl: that makes sense

Will: the point is we should
go in all the way or not at all

Goldberg: I think we should go in
but I agree we should not just dip
a toe into this war

Karl: got it

Goldberg: this is a war between
Hezbollah and Al-qaeda –
who do you support in that mess?

Karl: is it too late to act in Syria?

Bash: Assad is using sarin gas
that's evil!

Karl: what is the policy?

Bash: Obama likes using force –
he did it in Afghanistan Libya
Syria and Chicago

Raddatz: what is the strategy?
if you want to make a difference
create a no-fly zone

Karl: this is a bad situation

Bash: thank you so much for
pointing that out buddy

Karl: was that snark

Bash: chemical weapons are bad

Will: we have taken sides in
this war against Assad!

Goldberg: I was in favor of force
before but not now – it's a total mess

Bash: that's exactly why now
we have to attack!

Karl: what about the election in Iran?

Goldberg: the Supreme Leader
picks all the candidates

Karl: Obama?

Goldberg: lol

Karl: what about Edward Snowden?

Bash: he's got a lot of secret
information that China would
just love to get their hands on

Karl: whew - good thing he's
in Hong Kong

Bash: that's part of China!

Karl: oh shit

[ break ]

Karl: panel did Bill Clinton bully
Obama into sending guns to Syria?

Brazile: no it was just the right time
to get a little bit involved in another
middle east war

Gingrich: Obama is unprofessional
and impulsive and stupid

Karl: got it

Gingrich: we should get involved
but it will also be a disaster

Gutierrez: the best fighters are
with al-qaeda

Karl: excellent

Gutierrez: we sent 150,000 troops
to Iraq and it didn't work

Will: this is a war and the
winner will be the side that
is more willing to kill

Brazile: there must be political solution
that gets Assad into exile

Will: wrong – it's about killing

Gingrich: Assad is brutal and ruthless
and basically scum – I really admire him

Karl: what about immigration reform?

Gingrich: we need a really really big
fence on the Mexican border

Karl: you are so wise

Gutierrez: forget the bickering –
it's Father's Day! The immigration
system separates parents and children

Will: we don't need a big fence –
we need a deep moat filled with alligators

Gutierrez: also e-verify

Will: Republicans will support a bill that
requires Obama to resign and appoint
Ted Cruz President

Karl: that sounds like a perfect
bipartisan solution

Sunday, June 09, 2013

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – June 9, 2013


Guests:
Glen Greenwald
Sen. Mark Udall (D-CO)
Sen. Diane Feinstein (D-CA)
Rep. Mike Rogers (R-MI)
Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN)
Paul Krugman
Greta Van Susteren 
George Will  
Matthew Dowd
*********************************** 

Stephanopoulos: OMG the government
is tracking every phone call and
all of our porn searches!

Audience: uh oh

Greenwald: the NSA has denied this
for years but in fact they have details
about their massive database

Stephanopoulos: General Clapper says
your reporting is reckless and dangerous

Greenwald: hey this shit is real

Stephanopoulos: but aren't leaks dangerous?

Greenwald: the only thing we endangered
is the reputation of the dudes who
exercise power in the dark

Stephanopoulos: Google and Facebook
deny they directly disclose the vast
amount information they gather
about all of their users

Greenwald: well the NSA claims they
directly collect this information and
I'm willing to bet they are disclosing
something George

Stephanopoulos: have you been
contacted by the FBI about the leak?

Greenwald: under the First Amendment
I can report leaks – they will not intimidate me!

Stephanopoulos: who is your leaker?

Greenwald: I'll tell you during the break

Stephanopoulos: neat

Greenwald: the government always
attacks whistleblowers as traitors –
the are heroes to help us have an
open debate on surveillance!

Stephanopoulos: what more revelations
do you have up your sleeve?

Greenwald: ha ha - stay tuned Stephy!

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: Senator you knew
all about this years ago

Udall: yes I did but I never liked it
but also I don't support leaks

Stephanopoulos: Obama says these are
limited programs with a lot of oversight

Udall: the government is gathering
information every phone call you make
- that's too much information!

Stephanopoulos: so who cares who I call?

Udall: metadata is pretty powerful
information you know

Stephanopoulos: phone sex lines are so 1990s

Udall: hey look let's give the people the
information and let them decide what
surveillance they want

Stephanopoulos: but the Senate has approved it

Udall: but they're idiots

Stephanopoulos: has the Administration
been straight with the Congress?

Udall: perhaps but we need to know more
about just much information they are vacuuming up

Stephanopoulos: some in Congress
say this program stopped terrorist attacks

Udall: well let's talk about that –
but I'm still worried about personal privacy

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: Dianne should we
violate everyone's privacy or just
resign ourselves to mass death?

Feinstein: here's the good news – the NSA
only collects everyone's phone records
and if they want to listen in your phone
calls they need extra permission

Stephanopoulos: well I'm relieved

Feinstein: also we stopped a guy who
was going to blow up the New York City subways

Stephanopoulos: nice

Feinstein: you remember 9/11 – that was
some scary fanatic shit George!

Stephanopoulos: I do recall that

Feinstein: the FISA court re-authorizes
these programs every 90 days

Stephanopoulos: oh so no problem then

Rogers: the Patriot Act forbids reading
e-mails without a really really good reason

Stephanopoulos: I'm on board

Rogers: after 9/11 we learned that it's
very expensive to hold on to phone records
so the government has to do it

Stephanopoulos: that's compelling logic

Rogers: this information cannot be
data mined – it just sits in a box all
day gathering dust

Stephanopoulos: did General Clapper
lie to Ron Wyden?

Feinstein: he's very honest but
he's not very bright to be honest

Stephanopoulos: he's too stupid
to understand the question?

Feinstein: right – he's a little dim

Stephanopoulos: President McCain
is open to holding hearings on this

Feinstein: I had a hearing on Thursday
which was open to everybody

Stephanopoulos: I wasn't invited

Feinstein: by open to everybody I meant
closed to the public and also senate staffers

Stephanopoulos: righty-o

Feinstein: I can't prove how awesome
this program is because it's all classified

Rogers: if we tell all the bad guys we
track phone calls they will stop using phones!

Stephanopoulos: it's too late now Mike

Rogers: I get that now but we missed
9/11 and the Boston bombing

Stephanopoulos: sounds your surveillance
program is going great

Stephanopoulos: would you prosecute the leaker?

Feinstein: darn right I would!

Rogers: yes we have to prosecute the leaker
because they only released a little bit of
information to make us look bad –
Glen Greenwald has no clue how these
programs actually work!

Stephanopoulos: why doesn't he?

Rogers: because it's a big secret!

Stephanopoulos: got it

Rogers: but if the people knew
more than just what Greenwald
released they would really support it!

Stephanopoulos: so why not release all the details?

Rogers: because it's just too awesome!

Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: George solve surveillance for us

Will: there are needles in haystacks
hence we must connect the dots

Stephanopoulos: I see

Will: on the other hand Obama is a big bad liberal

Krugman: this is some authortarian shit Stepphers

Ellison: I never heard of these dang programs!

Susteren: I want the terrorists to know
about this – then they would stop using
phones which would slow them down!

Stephanopoulos: interesting point

Susteren: also the FISA court is a
rubber stamp – also James Rosen!

Dowd: mining metadata is worse that
listening in on phone conversations!

Stephanopoulos: but they say they
are not data mining

Dowd: then why collect the information?!

Will: we all leave a digital trail of bytecrumbs

Krugman: anyone watching a tv show
the last 10 years knows this is going on
including terrorists

Ellison: metadata is powerful but also useless

Dowd: Obama is doing everything
Bush did – but on steroids!

Stephanopoulos: that's a lie actually

Dowd: yeah but it sounds good

Ellison: this is not about Obama

Will: Obama is just like King George III !!

Susteren: Obama flip-flopped!

Dowd: Strange bedfellows!

Susteren: we never knew about any of this!

Dowd: right – this is all new and terrible!

Stephanopoulos: oh c'mon we've know
about this surveillance program for six years

Ellison: well I didn't

Stephanopoulos: this week Obama named
Susan Rice to be the NSA and
Sam Power to be Ambassador to the UN

Will: Samantha Power is against atrocities
which is very right-minded and therefore objectionable

Dowd: Obama is being very mean and
bitter by putting in the person he wants
as his National Security Advisor

Krugman: that's stupid

Dowd: I happen to believe the way
to solve all problems in Washington is
for Democrats should be civil and nice
and do whatever Republicans want

Stephanopoulos: there was good economic news this week

Krugman: it shows we have low expectations

Will: Wall Street loved it because
it means the Fed spigot will continue

Stephanopoulos: the deficit!

Ellison: we needs jobs George

Krugman: the economy was doing
well until the sequester

Susteren: I worry about poor people
in the inner city

Krugman: Obamacare is good for poor people

Susteren: maybe so but it's not enough

Dowd: 95% of the people have
gained nothing in 20 years

Ellison: I like seeing fast food
workers going on strike

Krugman: I'm worried the Fed will
ease off the moneyfall

Dowd: why are white men shooting
people and why can't we spy on them?

Susteren: when the government has
a conference it's really stealing

Ellison: if interest rates double no one
will be able to go to college and we'll
have nation of uneducated idiots

Stephanopoulos: thanks –
and that's another episode